10 November 2007

In the Language of the Real Ale Twat?


We all love Viz magazine and their Real Ale Twats strip. However, the following is a rough list of phrases used in beer reviews. It is surprising that the language used is unsophisticated. I have plans to employee someone to write an application for Pocket PC, which transposes questions in each of category (below) into Real-Ale-Speak.

Constitution
------------
(heroic) full-bodied character

Smell
-----
(inviting) hop aroma
malty aroma
delightful floral aroma
citrus hints on the nose
hop flower nose
subtle hoppiness
(strong) hoppy aroma
citrus notes in the aroma

Colour
------
Light
(full) golden / amber colour
straw coloured
(very) dark
red hued
pale coloured
reddish colour

Flavour (Dominating)
------------------
(biscuity) malt flavour
roast flavour
full (malt) flavour
fresh spicy hop notes
nutty palate

Flavour (Underlying)
--------------------
hints of caramel
hints of chocolate
hints of citrus
hints of fruit
hints of malt
underlying hoppiness
fruit notes
hints of citrus on the palate
subtle hoppiness
subtle bitterness
zesty notes
smoky flavours

Aftertaste
----------
(dry) hoppy finish
(dry) bitter finish
bitter aftertaste
nutty finish
malty finish
(dry) moreish finish
fruity aftertaste

Aftertaste (Duration)
---------------------
long-lasting
long
slight
lingering

Other Keywords and Phrases
--------------------------
quaffable
satisfying
refreshing
(satin) smooth
easy-drinking
rich
complex
deep
beautifully crafted
glorious
distinctive
well-balanced
surprisingly uncomplicated
crisp
delicious

No comments: