10 November 2007

In the Language of the Real Ale Twat?


We all love Viz magazine and their Real Ale Twats strip. However, the following is a rough list of phrases used in beer reviews. It is surprising that the language used is unsophisticated. I have plans to employee someone to write an application for Pocket PC, which transposes questions in each of category (below) into Real-Ale-Speak.

Constitution
------------
(heroic) full-bodied character

Smell
-----
(inviting) hop aroma
malty aroma
delightful floral aroma
citrus hints on the nose
hop flower nose
subtle hoppiness
(strong) hoppy aroma
citrus notes in the aroma

Colour
------
Light
(full) golden / amber colour
straw coloured
(very) dark
red hued
pale coloured
reddish colour

Flavour (Dominating)
------------------
(biscuity) malt flavour
roast flavour
full (malt) flavour
fresh spicy hop notes
nutty palate

Flavour (Underlying)
--------------------
hints of caramel
hints of chocolate
hints of citrus
hints of fruit
hints of malt
underlying hoppiness
fruit notes
hints of citrus on the palate
subtle hoppiness
subtle bitterness
zesty notes
smoky flavours

Aftertaste
----------
(dry) hoppy finish
(dry) bitter finish
bitter aftertaste
nutty finish
malty finish
(dry) moreish finish
fruity aftertaste

Aftertaste (Duration)
---------------------
long-lasting
long
slight
lingering

Other Keywords and Phrases
--------------------------
quaffable
satisfying
refreshing
(satin) smooth
easy-drinking
rich
complex
deep
beautifully crafted
glorious
distinctive
well-balanced
surprisingly uncomplicated
crisp
delicious

Counting Down

Excellent! I have a few minutes to spare. I have a few thoughts running through my head at the present. I think the Hobgoblin from Wychwood Brewery that I am presently drinking is helping. It has been a hectic week, as one might expect when balancing several projects at once.

The MyPubGuide.com website is due to be finished sometime next month. If you have not had the chance to take a look at it yet then you might benefit from having a brief look at some of the services on offer. I have been looking forward to the launch for almost a year now.

Free The Hops

Asheville Beer Blog has been instrumental to mention that Alabama still has a few draconian laws on the percentage limit of alcohol (6%). Free The Hops is an awareness group that has been set up against such unjustifiable nonsense. I wish the best for their campaign.

What else is new? Chris is out to save the world with his new book on coffee beans - Brian gives advise to lager brewers - Brookston Beer Bulletin gives its brief analysis on the successful re-launch of the Stella Artois website - Flossmoor Station win third prize - The chap at Hail the Ale tells us about the man who dialled 911 because he had run out of beer.

4 November 2007

Wetherspoon Beer Festival: So Far So Good

On Thursday 1st November, I thought that I would take the opportunity to join in the JD Wetherspoon beer festival. Not long after 9am, I was enjoying two of my old favourites: Old Disreputable from 3 Rivers Brewery and Jouster from Goffs.

Later that day, I tried the Sneck Lifter from Jennings and Terra Firma from Everards. Despite the image of Wetherspoon being a public house chain with a wholly lumpen proletarian clientele, this was certainly not the impression that I experienced while at one of their establishments, the Stockport one.

The next day, I added the Banks's Salute and the Flying Shuttle from Thwaites Brewery. These are two excellent beers. However, this morning, I indulged in Old Slug Porter from RCH Brewery Centurion's Ghost from York Brewery. You might find a story about the centurion's ghost itself on a previous post of mine, failing that do a search for the old treasury near York Minster.

RCH Old Slug Porter - The slug has an endearing face. It looks a little that creature from farscape. It just had to have one after I had already drank two of prize beers. I am supposed to meet someone at the big Protestant Church but I have this thick and enticing dark beer in my midst.